Hurricane Irene is approaching and will bring torrential rain and wind and generally wreak havoc on my weekend off. Just curious, but why does it seem that these huge storms are always named after women (ex. Katrina, Gloria, Diane, Irene)?
As this feminine force of nature makes a washout of the next few days it made me think about the many reasons why I love being a man. So here you go:
Top Five Reasons Why I Love Being A Man
5. No waiting for public restrooms. Ever have to use the facilities at a busy bar or sporting event? When my bladder is full and I make my way to the restroom it kind of reminds me of the Disney Fast Past Line in the Magic Kingdom.
I see huge lines of women waiting with legs crossed while I am able to just mosey right on in.
4. Love of Professional Sports – Even if you go to a party and meet a bunch of guys you’ve never met before, you always have something to talk about. Sports is the universal language of man. Oh I’m sure there are plenty of female sports fans there who can talk a good game too. But I’m also willing to bet they became fans by growing up in a household of men.
3. Less Time To Make Myself Presentable. This one is a no-brainer. Tell me I have to be shaved, showered and ready to go in thirty minutes and I’ll make it with ten minutes to spare. Tell that to a woman and she wouldn’t even be towel dried when the timer went off.
2. The Three Stooges. Trying to explain my love for these guys to a woman is pointless. I’ll be laughing my head off and she’ll look at me with a huge scowl on her face. I guess it takes the XY chromosome to be able to really appreciate their slapstick. Although it simply MUST be the classic line-up of Moe, Larry & Curly. No exceptions. Those other guys just weren’t as funny.
I suppose it’s kind of same reason you have to be female to understand the beauty of those awful Twilight books and movies.
And the Number One thing I most enjoy about being a man?
1. No Monthly Visits From Unwelcome “Friends”. I think most women know what I’m talking about here. And for those men who are still single it’s best to avoid women if at all possible during the visit.
While we men can procreate at will and not think twice about it a woman’s body is synchronized with some kind a monthly cycle. Something they must attend to or, eh, well, the results will be less then flattering let’s put it that way.
So there you have it. The five things I do enjoy most about being a man. As for you ladies who may be disgruntled about this blog please don’t hate. I’ll still be here the next time you have a tight jar or bottle you need opened.
Oooh, now that makes six things. 😉