Today’s Headlines: February 17th, 2012

I swear, you just can’t make this stuff up. It’s ridiculous. It makes me reconsider just what journalism majors are being taught in college. It’s certainly not good reporting.

News media websites in particular are becoming more and more blatantly biased and not taking things seriously. Either that or they’ve just gone off the deep end.

Here are a few legitimate headlines from various “news” websites around the Internet this morning. I have not doctored them up in any way. These are actual headlines, many of which displayed as one of the “Top” stories of the day.

From Yahoo!:

Plane carrying marijuana strays into Obama LA Airspace: I’ve heard about pizzas being delivered but never knew there was a Mary Jane Express. Hmmmm, could it be that SOMEONE is having a party?  I wonder who’s bringing the munchies?

From FoxNews:

‘Underwear Bomber’ gets life in prison’: I don’t know about you, but I sure wouldn’t want the name “Underwear Bomber” to be associated with me. I can just imagine the abuse this guy’s going to take spending life in the pokey. It sounds too generic. Wouldn’t a better name have been “The Bugle Boy Bomber” or maybe “The Fruit of the Loom Annihilator“?


FDA warns of mouth-destroying toothbrushes: Thanks a lot FDA… as if I didn’t already have enough problems trying to get my kid to brush her teeth.

From The Huffington Post:

‘Half Head’ Mugshot Subject Explains Half Head: I don’t even wanna know about this one….

From CNN:

George Clooney’s open to marriage: Well, I’m glad we figured that one out. I don’t know what I’d do if he wanted to be single for the rest of his life.

and finally (I just couldn’t resist on this one):

Dems ask ‘Where are the women?’: Is Bill Clinton running for office again! 😉

Today’s Headlines – Dec 3, 2011

If it’s Saturday morning and nothing else is going on you know it’s time for Today’s Headlines. This is where I  post actual top story headlines from reputable “Top News” websites and give you my take on them.


I always find it funny how these news organizations choose their “Top Stories”.  I mean, who decides why stories about Lindsay Lohan going to rehab take precedence over mass killings in the Middle East?

All of the headlines that follow were all emblazoned in bold when I saw them on the actual website and deal with topics considered to be the most important things you need to know. Things that without such knowledge of you would be in danger of ignorance.

Have a Great Day!

From MSNBC.com:

George Mcgovern Hospitalized
Is that guy still alive? I thought he died right after Nixon resigned.

Jobless Rate Falls to 8.6%
“Falls” to 8.6%? Ok, maybe this headline’s relevant but how about this next one:

Authorities Take Custody of Singer McCready’s Son
We have out of control unemployment, an economy in shambles with a dangerously teeter-tottering stock market and they’re more concerned about a country singer who hasn’t been relevant in 15 years losing custody of her son because she’s a train wreck.

Megachurch Pastor’s Wife Says Divorce is On Again
This is news? And why is it ‘on’ again all of a sudden?

From Yahoo.com:

U.S. Judge Rejects Apple Bid to Halt Galaxy Sales:
Damn, I knew Steve Jobs had a lot of money but I didn’t know he owned a whole bunch of actual galaxies. That’s impressive. I knew I should have bought some stock back in the day. I’d probably be blogging from the moon right about now.

And finally:

From FoxNews.Com:

Sandusky: I Never Spoke To Joe (Paterno) About Allegations: Former Penn State coach reportedly says Joe Paterno never asked him about alleged molestation incidents.

Yep, that one I can believe.