I always love reading the top headlines from various news websites. There’s always some which have some sort of relevance as to what’s going on in the world. Things we should probably be paying attention to. But then there’s also the ones that leave you sort of scratching your head. They’re also a nice break from the monotonous 24/7 news cycle of Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan.

So today, I’ve decided to present some “Top News” headlines to you as they appear at this very moment and give you some quick thoughts.

Foxnews.com

Top Stories:

US Explores Faster Afghan Handover; White House Considered Bailout of Solyndra; Port Shutdown Indefinitely After “Occupy” Protests

All valid headlines I suppose. Ones with the buzzwords that keep in the theme of a right leaning agenda with a democratic president. In a nutshell they are:

1. Handover = Surrender

2. Bailout = Socialism

3. Occupy = Hippy Bums

Then throw in this fourth little diddy “Vet Gets Eviction Notice After Hanging US Flag”.  An outrage? Perhaps. I was prepared to read it to find out until I read the sub headline for another story underneath it:

Veteran Says She Was Forced to Sit in Urine After Flight

Since I didn’t want to just read the “right” leaning agenda and appear to be biased, I moved a bit over to the “left” and was even more surprised at what I discovered.

CNN.COM

Headlines:

Sandwich Lands Mom In Jail:  All I wanna know is, what kind of sandwich was it and more importantly, where can I get one?

Taped Whipping Enrages Dr. Drew: I don’t know about you but anything that enrages Dr. Drew pisses me off too.

Mexicans Enter US Through Gas Lines: So THAT’S how those little buggers are getting in here. Who’da thunk it? Next time I’m filling up at WaWa I’ll be sure to keep my eyes open.

Meat Lovers Get  A Vending Machine: I already thought we had those. I could have sworn I saw Slim Jim’s in the one here at work.

Happy Thursday!