Category: Dreams

A Silver Lining

2020 has been the absolute worst year of my life.

I know, it probably has been for you as well. But my streak of bad started way before the corona virus and debating the usefulness of masks while hating each other. For me, the black cloud hovering over my head began last October when I lost my beloved dog, Doodle, three days before I turned 50. That single event set the wheels of gloom in motion.

It really began in early March of this year when my mother suffered a fatal stroke and, a week later, the Covid-19 lockdown officially began. I do writing on the side and was grateful to be able to continue to work from home with my real job in IT.

Unfortunately, one month after quarantine began, I was told that my position had been eliminated, effective immediately. My company offered to pay me until the end of the month. This was contingent upon them overnighting all the things at my desk along with a box for me to return my laptop and other company equipment.

I used those two weeks to secure a contract position at another company. The bummer of it was, the new job didn’t start for eighteen days and there would be no pay coming in. So, like thousands of other people, I applied for unemployment benefits to fill the gap and was accepted. I won’t go into great detail about my experience with the Department of Unemployment other than to say that as of this writing, I still have not received one single penny for the two-weeks unemployment they owe me. I tried calling, emailing, voicemails… all met with constant busy signals or completely ignored. I had to dig into savings in order to pay bills. The fact they still owe me for two-weeks unemployment is unsettling, but I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like for others who are going through a similar process and still haven’t found a job.

Just when I thought there might be a break in the storm, this past week I had to say goodbye to another one of my dogs. Ginger Snap, a senior pup we adopted after she was rescued from a kill shelter in 2011, and who had spent the next four years living a life filled with love and luxury, told me it was time. She had been diagnosed with Cushing’s Disease a few weeks ago and I was giving her medication that was supposed to alleviate the symptoms that were ruining her quality of life. I came downstairs on Saturday morning to find her unable to get up. It will take me a long time to get over the thought that I failed her.

So, during a period of ten months, I’ve not only become mired in this pandemic but also lost my mother, two dogs and my job. Which kind of leads me to the title of this post – The Silver Lining.

The day after Ginger went to the rainbow bridge, I went to visit my brother, who had lived with my mom in the house we all grew up in. He had recently installed windows in places of the house where none previously existed. I marveled at the sun, gleaming through the new windows and showering the space that was once our childhood bedroom in bright, summer light.

As I admired his work, he mentioned how he should’ve installed the windows twenty-five years ago and how he wished our mom would’ve been alive to see them. I agreed.

After I left the house to go home, I walked past the huge blue spruce tree lumbering in the yard. Its towering branches reaching high to the heavens like it had always done even before I was born. I suddenly remembered how deathly afraid I was of that tree as a child, and how I would often have nightmares about it coming out of the ground at its roots to get me.

I decided I wanted to have a piece of that big tree to stick in my curio cabinet at home. It’s a place where I keep all of my childhood knickknacks of times gone by. I bravely reached for a low hanging limb and plucked off a tiny piece of branch. I held the small stem to my nose and breathed deeply, inhaling the faint scent of pine from something that forty-five years ago scared the living shit out of me.

That night as a lay in bed, I had a dream that I was back at my brother’s house. I can’t recall all the details, but I remember my brother and I were standing in the kitchen talking about something when in walked my mom. In the dream, she looked exactly as she did as when I was a boy, but in my heart, I knew she had died. You would think that I would be terrified at the sight of a ghost, but I wasn’t afraid to see her at all. Instead, there was something I wanted to know.

“Are you all right?” I asked. Meaning, is it ok when you die.

She nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said. “Everything is ok.”

The dream quietly transitioned into something else I can’t remember, but that revelation of seeing her still haunts me. It’s been years since I’d dreamt about my mother, and even when I did there was never a conversation that felt so visceral.

I’m not sure if what I experienced was the culmination of visiting my brother and all the things that have been happening to me in 2020, or that my mother really was trying to tell me that everything is going to be all right.

But if I had to make a choice, I like to think that it was the latter.

Analysis of A Dream 2

For all you mediums, dream interpreters and psychology buffs I’m starting a new semi regular feature here on goJimmygo. One that’s right up your alley: I’m going to describe to you a dream that I had and I want to hear how you interpret it. I did this once before and got some great responses.

First, I’ll give you the dream I had in detail. At least from what I can recall about it. Next, I’ll give you some back story as to how this dream may have relation to my real life.

Finally, I’ll give you some of what I call “trigger events”. These are usually things that happen over the course of my waking hours earlier that may have “triggered” me having the dream. The trigger events usually happen during the day and the dream occurs that same night.

So, put on your thinking caps, light some incense, get out your Ouija board or crystal ball and show me the voodoo that you do so well:

My wife has just dropped me off at the airport and I’m going to take a trip to Seattle for the weekend. I’m not sure if it’s for business or pleasure. Quite frankly, I have no idea why I’m going. I have my bag sitting next to me and I’m sitting in the terminal. I really can’t wait to get there. I say goodbye to my wife and tell her I’ll see her on Monday.

It’s at this point that I realize I haven’t made any reservations to stay anywhere once I arrive in town. I usually make these plans far in advance to save money but now I’m just going to have to pay top dollar when I arrive in town. I am a bit upset with myself because I didn’t have the forethought to do something as simple as book a room somewhere and now I’m worried about finding a place to stay. The thought occurs to me that I may get there and have absolutely no where to stay!

I also discover that my wife has left her purse in the terminal and that I really need to go home and deliver it to her or else she won’t have it all weekend.  Which is exactly what I do (even though I have already arrived for my flight). I drop off the purse at home and then proceed back to the airport.

Back Story: I’ve always loved Seattle. Especially the Seattle Seahawks. Last October I flew out there just to see them play. I stayed in a hostel, which is one of those dormitory like places with nothing more than a bed and a bathroom. Very cost-effective when you consider you’d probably pay triple the amount to spend the night in a hotel.

Trigger Event: (Something during the course of the day that may have triggered me having this dream): I was watching a television show and one character mentioned “Seattle” in a sentence. It never went into any further detail. Just the word “Seattle”.

Looking forward to hearing your comments on this one.  Have a great week.