go.Jimmy.go

“Guess who just got back today?
Them wild-eyed boys that had been away
Haven’t changed, haven’t much to say
But man, I still think them cats are crazy”

Phil Lynott – Thin Lizzy (The Boys Are Back in Town)

***

One day, not too long ago, I woke up and they were gone.

Just like that. The friends I’d known and loved since childhood had packed up and disappeared without so much as a goodbye.

Perhaps it was my fault. After all, I was the one who had abandoned them. I’d always assumed they would be there whenever the urge struck me. Sure, I’d often walk down their street during my regular grocery excursions, but sometimes I was too caught up in the task at hand to stop by and say hello.

You always think there will be another morning. Until there isn’t.

I’ll admit that when I first heard the news of their departure, I felt an emptiness in my stomach. A churning sensation. I knew my mornings would never be quite the same.

I missed the laughter. The good conversations. Their familiar faces. I even missed those little plastic things made in their image that they occasionally brought me as presents. All those memories came rushing back.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Still, not a word.

I considered putting their pictures on milk cartons—skim, of course. But apparently dairy farmers no longer appreciate that sort of thing.

They didn’t understand. So, I did the next best thing.

At a Night Ranger concert, I had my picture taken with the band while holding a photograph of one of my missing friends. My hope was that somehow, somewhere, word would get out.

THE BOYS WERE MISSING. And I needed them back.

That’s when the General Mills gods must have heard my prayers.

Last night, around 10 p.m., I received a call from a friend who used to hang out with the boys too. I could barely understand what she was saying through all the emotion.

She had seen them.

At Wegmans.

They were alive.

….and apparently, they were asking about me!!!

Even though the hour was late, I grabbed my keys and made haste to the local Wegmans.

As I rushed through the doors, I was greeted by the unmistakable smell of cinnamon. Either the bakery had been making cinnamon rolls, or the Apple Jacks kids were firing one up in celebration.

I chose to believe the latter.

Any hoo, I hurried toward the place where we had always hung out.

Nothing.

I searched everywhere, but all I found were frogs, rabbits, magicians, some crazy bird and a suspicious-looking leprechaun.

My friends were nowhere in sight.

That familiar emptiness returned. Maybe I had arrived too late. Maybe someone had already found them and taken them home. Maybe tomorrow morning would be just like every morning had been for the past several months…. Empty.

Then I had an epiphany.

I noticed Wegmans had already begun putting out Spooky Season candy nearly two months early.

Could it be?

Like me, the boys had always enjoyed the creepy stuff. Maybe they had decided to hang out in the Halloween aisle. At this point, it was worth a shot. So off I went.

I wandered past mountains of bite-sized Snickers, Milky Ways and Reese’s Cups until suddenly…

The heavens parted.

There they were.

My friends.

The boys who had disappeared without a trace.

They were back.

For a moment, we just stared at one another. Nobody knew what to say.

Finally, the emotion became too much.

“HEY, GUYS! IT’S ME! JIMMY!”

A tear rolled down my cheek.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a Wegmans employee who had witnessed the entire reunion slowly backing away from me. I didn’t care. The boys and I were together again.

I brought them home that night. I didn’t ask where they’d been. I didn’t ask why they left. And I certainly didn’t ask how long they planned on staying. Some questions are better left unanswered.

All I knew was that when I woke up the next morning, my old friends were waiting for me at the breakfast table. And for the first time in months, everything felt right with the world again.

So welcome home, boys.

Count Chocula. Franken Berry. Boo Berry.

Breakfast just hasn’t been the same without you.

And somewhere, Phil Lynott is smiling.

Because the boys are back in town.