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Hey baby…I’m no handyman

If the law of survival was such that the only way you could get food on the table was to do some kind of manual labor I’d starve.  I’ve never been into building things. You want me to fix your computer, write you a song or paint you a Bob Ross masterpiece? I’m your man. I can even get by with mowing the lawn. But if you want someone to build you a house from a set of match sticks you’ll need to look elsewhere. I even cringe at the notion of such things as my wife bringing home a new light fixture and asking me to replace the old. My first thought on situations like these is to let her know that’s it been quite a while since my brother last visited.

You see, my brother is the handiest person I know. He finished my entire basement pretty much all by himself.  He laid the sub flooring, framed the entire thing, dry walled, primed and painted. About the only thing he didn’t do was hook up the electric and carpet the floor. He’s built a detached garage at his own home by himself. There’s pretty much nothing he can’t do. Me? All I’m pretty much good for is holding a flashlight or ladder. But I’m ok with that.

It’s not like I wish I could be more handy or took an interest in it. The fact of the matter is, I don’t care. Call me lazy if you want. I’d much rather pay someone else to do it. And in these desparate economic times, there’s a contractor out there who is happy I am the way I am.

Right now we’re in the middle of a kitchen remodel. My wife and I decided to get the kitchen cabinets painted white, put a new laminate wood floor through four rooms, get a new kitchen sink and hang two new light fixtures. What part of this have I accomplished? I put up one of the light fixtures. And even that took some doing.

My problem I think is that I’m not patient enough. I want that new thing up as fast as possible. Which means that I usually don’t read directions thoroughly. And inevitably, I’ll get to the point where I’m almost completely finished and realize that there’s something I’ve got on backwards and need to undo the last twenty minutes I’ve spent just to fix it.

Don’t get wrong though. I love the euphoria I get when i complete a task by myself. I just don’t like the process of getting there.

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About James Wood

Influenced by life, love and the pursuit of the perfect song is what best describes my passion. I’m a closeted classic rock/metal-head from the 80′s who loves to write.

Posted on May 17, 2011, in Life. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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