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PayCheck Friday

Ah, another Paycheck Friday. My favorite day of the bi-weekly cycle. I only wish there could also be a Pay Check Monday through Thursday to go along with it.  I’d probably sleep better at night wondering how I’m going to save for my daughter’s college education. But if you stop and think about it, there aren’t too many days that can compete with the day the money is literally in the bank.

I’ve been a Clinical Systems Analyst for five years now. Time sure flies doesn’t it?  I love my job and the people I work with. Seriously, I really do. Although some days may be challenging depending on the number of  people who call me with Malware issues they have from perusing the Internet.

By now you also know my love for revisiting the past. So as we celebrate another Paycheck Friday I’d like to share with you the story of my first job.

From April to October of 1986 I was THE biscuit baker at McDonalds with secondary skill as fry cook. I wouldn’t even categorize me in with any other because quite frankly, there was no comparison. I was in a biscuit league all my own. Light and fluffy. Just the right amount of browness to them every time. You wanted a Sausage, Egg and Cheese Biscuit? You came to The Woodsman. Yeah, my biscuits had them ALL coming back for more.

My tenure there was not all happiness and rainbows. Oh no, there was plenty of  tribulation. Managers being a pain in the butt and off the wall things happening.  One day in particular I’ll never forget.

I was training a new employee, Dude, on the fine art of  making twelve “regs” (as in regular cheeseburgers) and following it up with six macs (Big Macs). You have to learn the language of Mickey Dee if you plan to survive there.

Now I’m not sure if he did this deliberately or by accident but at one point Dude wound up pulling the fire alarm over the grill which caused foam to cover the contents of the grill and all fry vats. Essentially closing the store until it could be cleaned up. He looked at me dumbfounded.

So as we’re in the process of busting ass and cleaning up the mess the manager starts looking for Dude, the one who pulled the alarm. It’s at that point that one of the cashiers informs him that she had watched Dude walk out with two cases of frozen burgers, put them into his car and drive off. Dude sacrificed his job for a hamburger.

Well, I have to be honest. It did give me a chuckle when I heard the news. But with the way management had treated employees I thought for sure that Dude was going to wind up coming back and become my boss the next week. But alas, they wound up firing Dude instead. Go figure.

During those six months I did every thing at that joint for a measly $3.35 an hour. I heard the torment of laughter from friends because THEY didn’t have to work all summer but I had to go make the biscuits. They’d even say things like “Burger Flipping Biscuit Bakin….Burger Flippin Biscuit Bakin” over and over ad nauseum. It was a feeling that would break the heart of most working sixteen year olds.

But rather than pound my friends into dirt I decided to channel that energy creatively. And it was that inspiration that helped  me invent and perfect the  first McDonalds Triple Cheeseburger. Yes, while most others were at home watching Scooby Doo and listening to Culture Club I was busting ass over the grill creating just the right combination of grease and pickle to make a triple decker bomb. Just thinking about it now fills me with pride and makes me have more respect for Sponge Bob Squarepants.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, “There’s no way the manager would let you do that” and you would indeed be right. But you see, most night managers at McDonalds liked to hang out up in the drive thru window. Quite a distance away from where I stood with my spatula. So I would appoint a lookout, some other of lower intelligence, to stand guard while I perfected my craft and alert me if a manager entered my zone.

Of course, no test would be complete without sampling the creation so frequent trips to take out the “garbage” were made. And on the way out there was also always a need to stop by the Chicken McNugget bin. You never know when those will have to be thrown out. That summer I made $3.35 an hour. I think I also gained 15 pounds.

It was then that my senior year of high school began and I quit my position as head fry cook/biscuit man. I would not have another job until school was out but still think often of Dude and my days at the Golden Arches. Well, actually, no I don’t.

So, as we celebrate the occasion of another direct deposit it’s nice to look back and see where it all began. Just like always, the money deposited is usually in the bank and gone by Monday on silly things as mortgage, food and electricity.

In my effort to eat healthy I’ve tried to minimize my visits to fast food joints.  Truth be told I haven’t made a biscuit since my departure but I’m willing to bet mine would still be the best.

And finally, in closing, just remember the next time you see or hear a commercial for a Triple Cheeseburger at Mickey Dee’s that you know who you can thank for it’s creation.

You’re welcome.

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About James Wood

Influenced by life, love and the pursuit of the perfect song is what best describes my passion. I’m a closeted classic rock/metal-head from the 80′s who loves to write.

Posted on June 10, 2011, in Childhood Memories and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Woods – 12 up, cheese on 6

    any more smurfs back there?

    aaaa the golden arches

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