Category: Life

Childhood Memories, Life, Thought and Opinion

Regrets

Regrets…I’ve Had a Few – Frank Sinatra

Ever have one of those days where something happens and it makes you take stock in what your life is about? I had one of those days last week from an unlikely source.

I was reading the news headlines on the Internet and came across an article that Jackie Cooper had died. Many people born post 1980 probably have no idea who Jackie Cooper is. To them, he’s just another name of another 88 year old man who died.  Someone who had some kind of celebrity status  from the “Golden Age”. Someone whose time had long since come and gone. If it’s not Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber then it’s not newsworthy to most Generation X, Y, Z  or what ever the hell they’re called these days.

For those of us born around 1969 Jackie Cooper will forever be synonymous with Our Gang and The Little Rascals. He was the boy who had the crush on Miss Crabtree. Ring a bell? How many hours after school or Saturday mornings did you spend watching him showing his affection for her?

Jackie went on to be nominated for an Academy Award at age 9. He also recieved multiple Emmy Awards for directing episodes of MASH (my grandmother always used to mention that fact when his name popped up in the credits and that’s probably another reason I like him).

But why would the death of this guy have such an effect on me? In a strange way, and even though I never met the man in my life, it made me feel like part of my childhood had died with him.  I wished at that very moment that at some point I could have gotten to meet him in person. I remember all those early years I spent watching Jackie trying to impress Miss Crabtree. A young man on his quest for unobtainable love. Maybe it was the innocence of just coming home from school and turning on the television with no other obligations or committments. And now that part of me is gone.

There are many people in my life who are/were important to me. The people in my family are ones I’m able to tell, although maybe not as often as I should. But then there are some other types with whom I have regret.  People I have never met but had a profound impact on me. Among them:

– I would have loved to have shaken hands with Bob Ross and told him how much I loved his painting. His shows brought me closer to my grandmother. It was always “our time” together after school when Bob painted. I regret not meeting him before he died in 1995.

– I would have loved to have had Dr. Seuss sign one of my Cat in the Hat books at some convention. Of course I thought he would just live forever although life has a funny way of having that effect on you. I regret he never signed a book for me.

– I would have loved to have met Mister Rogers. I would have let him know how much I enjoyed his show growing up. How I often pretended to do my own show from MY neighborhood at home. Using a bunch of old clothes and shoes in a closet I’d spend many an hour at an early age pretending I was him.  How I knew all the words to his “hello” and “goodbye” songs. To tell him that I think the reason I like jazz music no doubt started from watching his show. Fred Rogers even came to Easton one year to visit the Crayola factory and I didn’t go. He passed away a short time later. I regret never meeting Mister Rogers.

Then there are the events in my life that I initially regretted but was glad how things turned out:

– I regretted leaving West Chester University after studying music education for a year. I left because I needed to find work and for years wanted to go back and finish. It never came to be but I wonder what my life would have been like had I been able to stay. Would I have been a music teacher in some school district? Giving private lessons somewhere?

One thing I know for sure is that I would not be where I am now if I had finished. I would not be married to my current wife (we got back together a few months after I was home for good). And my daughter would probably not be here either. I do not regret leaving.

– When my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in 1996 I began spending more time with him. We had been estranged for many years and it wasn’t until he got sick that we really began to reconnect again. After he passed away I regretted for the longest time not taking the initiative to see him more when I had the chance. But I eventually realized that those final years were actually the best I’ve ever spent with him. I do not regret those days.

So reading Jackie Cooper’s obituary had a two found effect on me. First of all, it gave me great “ammo” for this blog entry. But even more importantly, it made me think about where I am in life and where I’ve been.

In the future, I’ll try harder to tell people how much I care about them. I’ll also look for opportunities to tell those remaining “Jackie Coopers” how much I appreciate their work.

And I’ll look back without regret.

Life

Rock Star Moments

I can still see it as if it were just yesterday. I was in my bathroom upstairs shaking like a leaf. It was around 3 pm and I was getting ready to head to South Bethlehem for sound check. My band was going to be the opening act for Clay Aiken at Musikfest. On the biggest stage of them all. The fastest sellout in the festival’s history – 6,500 people. We had the greatest singer ever in our arsenal that got us there. But I was a nervous wreck.

I had dreamed about this forever. Since the first day I picked up my grandmother’s hand held potato slicer and pretended it was a guitar. The callused fingers, the long walks downtown to Ken Brader and Son’s music store for lessons on brutal summer days. The countless hours of practice after school.

While other kids went out and played sports or hung with friends I was trying to figure out how the hell Eddie Van Halen got his kung-fu. I used to write journal entries in high school of what my life was going to be like after I “made it”.

And now, here I was sitting in my bathroom next to the bowl for fear of losing my lunch. I’m still not sure how I held it together. But somehow my “Rock Star Moment” was here. And I wasn’t about to let it slip away.

Rock Star Moments are those things in life that put us on a whole new level. They allow us to rise above the crowd for a short time. They make our lives really feel fulfilled. Some call it their “15 minutes of Fame” but I prefer to say Rock Star Moments.

They’re like “15 minutes” because it’s here for only a short while and then is gone. The difference is, when your 15 minutes of fame is over that’s usually all you receive.  But you can have many Rock Star Moments in life.

Imagine the day in the life of your favorite chart topping artist as they arrive at a venue to perform. That was me that day. All the crew members doing whatever it takes to make you comfortable so you could ready yourself for a night of great music. Ushering you off away from the adoring public. Ok, so this “public” was there to see Clay Aiken but this was my “moment” so I could think what ever I wanted. Clay had just placed second in Season two of American Idol but was almost on the same level as Justin Bieber is today. People were going bonkers for him.

Surreal.

That’s the one thing that comes to mind when ever I think of that day. It was perfect. Definitely more than fifteen minutes of fame. In fact, even our set was 35 minutes long so there.

There are no prerequisites for when they occur. Rock star moments can happen to anyone at any time. My ten year old daughter just had two of them in one week.

About a month ago I read an article that the Doobie Brothers were looking for fans to submit pictures and videos to use in their new music video. Yes, the same Doobie’s who do “China Grove”, “Listen to the Music” and scolded Raj, Rerun and Dwayne for tape recording their show on What’s Happenin’.

Their new song is called “Far From Home” and they wanted submissions that reflected that theme. Troops coming home from war, kids going off to college. That sort of thing.  By coincidence, I still had pictures from my daughter Jillian’s first day of school 5 years ago on my computer. So on a whim I decided to submit a few of her on the school bus for the very first time. Of course, I never really thought anything would come of it. Until a few days ago that is when I received an email telling me that they used a picture of her on the school bus in their video.

I watched the video and saw not only that picture but other life changing events as well. A beautiful song and message that I’m so proud she’s a part of.

You can check it out here: http://www.uso.org/thedoobiebrothers/

When I showed her the video and she saw the picture her eyes got as big as saucers, she was so excited. I’ll never forget what she said. “Daddy, I think I’m really starting to become famous”. Rock Star Moment. There and gone. But luckily for her, she was on the verge of another one.

The very next night she had her 4th grade chorus concert at school. It would be her final performance in elementary school as she and all of her classmates are moving to a whole new school next year.

From the look in her eyes I knew this was special for her. I watched her singing and laughing with her best friend that stood up there with her and thought to myself, “There is no place else on Earth she’d rather be right now”. And I think I had a rock star moment of my own there too.

But rock star moments don’t have to be “music related”. They could be as simple as having your first child, finishing an important project at work or school or even helping someone in need. My Dad used to have his rock star moments when he would take an old Mustang that sat around rusting for years and slowly but meticulously piece it together. The look he had when he’d beep the horn out front and we’d rush down to see a car that had sat dead for years now suddenly come back to life is something I’ll never forget.

Sometimes you know about their arrival weeks in advance like I did. Sometimes they are a complete surprise (like the Doobie Brothers video). You may even have had a bunch of them in the past or maybe you feel yours is yet to come. But the point is, they exist and they can happen to you. And you have them for life.

So let’s hear about your Rock Star Moments.

Life, Thought and Opinion

More Thoughts From The Gym

I’ve covered the experience of being in the gym locker room at LA Fitness but never got to tell you about all the wonderful stuff that happens in addition to seeing things that should be exorcised by the dudes in Supernatural. So let’s assume that I have arrived, changed and made my way on to the gym floor.

When I’m in the gym, I have a job to do. Sure, I’d much rather be sitting on the couch at home with the remote than running on a treadmill. Just the fact alone that I need to be in this place is bad enough. I need to do what I’ve got to do and get out.  Period.  But many of the others that are in this habitat have different agendas.

There are five different categories to describe the typical person who holds a membership to LA Fitness. The vain Jocks, The Posers, The Models, The Talkers and then there’s people like ME . I classify myself mostly between the beautiful model (male of course) and the athletic jock (well, at least that’s what everyone tells me).

First there are the vain Jocks. These are the ones who usually come in wearing athletic sportswear and new Nike cross training shoes. These cats are usually in reasonable shape and should be out running track on the high school field across the street and not hogging up my precious gym equipment (I call it MY equipment because when I’m in “da house” well, it’s MINE).

Next are the beloved Posers. These are people who shouldn’t be in the gym at all. They’re the muscle heads who like to congregate and go all out on every last set using every last dumbbell on the rack. You can typically tell who they are because they are primarily male, carry around bottles of protein and creatine drinks and, if not showing the disproportion of their big chests compared to their small head, usually wear hooded sweatshirts with the hood up over said head. I believe having this hood up is to keep their identity secret lest they be laughed to scorn.

The Models are next on the list. These are the beautiful women who walk around the gym in skimpy clothing. They have ZERO pounds of weight to lose. They are toned and tanned. They can also on most occasions be found on a treadmill going no where for hours or in the company of a Poser who is showing them the ropes.

They can be dangerous because they can lead people like ME to lift weights beyond their means in an effort to impress them. It’s a tough decision between eye candy and safety but I’d have to err on the side of caution. Sorry ladies. But I’m sure you girls will all forgive me the next time you see me flex.

Next there are the Talkers. Of all the ones that piss me off the most, these are the ones.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked over to a piece of equipment only to find a bunch of people sitting around it having a conversation.  These are the people who can spend hours chit-chatting. Ironically, they also always seem to be the same people who have no problem walking around naked in the locker room with a body that shows the results of all the hard work they did at the machine.

Finally, there are people like me. The ones who will never bench 400 pounds or win a Mr. Olympia. We’re the ones who don’t want to be there at all but really have no choice. We just want to stay reasonably active and keep the age-mass phenomena at bay for as long as possible. That’s why we do what we do.

So as you can see, the “fun” in the gym isn’t just restricted to the locker room. It extends out to the floor as well. And don’t even get me started about the rumors I’ve heard about what goes on in the swimming pool.

Childhood Memories, Life

Bob Ross and Happy Trees

There are certain people you encounter in life that inspire you. People that motivate you to be your best or try new things.

The band KISS made me want to be a rock star. Mr. Milisits in high school made me want to sing. But today’s post is about the man that made me want to, of all things, paint.

Bob Ross was a genius.

Here was a guy who didn’t follow the traditional method of painting. He would literally cover the canvas in white paint and then paint on top of that. The wet on wet technique he called it.

I remember spending countless afternoons after school with my Grandmother watching him on PBS painting. He’d always say things like “Lets put a happy little tree in there” and then out of nowhere one would emerge from a knife or brush he wielded in his hand. Freakin’ awesome!

Sometimes he would begin with a dry black canvas. He’d then cover the entire canvas in blue and paint on top of that. Then he would start painting the scene from there. These would be his night scenes and were always my favorites.

I painted quite a bit with Bob in the 80’s. It was not only easy but one of the most relaxing and rewarding things I ever did.

When Bob died in 1995 I was devastated. He was really just starting to achieve celebrity.

I always wondered what it would have been like if he were still around today.

I could see him being a special guest on Letterman or Leno and the bit would be him painting a picture in 3 minutes or something like that. Everyone would go crazy in the audience.

Sadly, it just wasn’t mean to be.

Last year, I had to go to Freeport Maine for work. While I was there I decided to make the two hour trip upstate to the Pemaquid Point Lighthouse. It’s the lighthouse you see on the back of the Maine State quarter and also one of the backgrounds you can have in Windows 7.

While I admired the beauty of the lighthouse and it’s surroundings a very cool idea popped into my head. And I could not wait to get home.

So yes, I still paint Bob Ross style every once in a while. Fortunately, his painting products can still be found in stores so there is still a market for it.

I love the idea of taking a blank canvas and making a whole world on it in an hour or so. To me, it’s still therapeutic.

And here’s the best part of all: while I’m painting my happy little trees (still no where near as good as his) I think about all those wonderful afternoons after school with my Grandmother.

Thanks Bob