Category: Thought and Opinion

Music, Thought and Opinion

Is Anyone Listening to “New” Music?

Have you heard? The new Night Ranger CD, Somewhere in California, was released a few weeks ago. It’s probably their best studio album since Midnight Madness when Sister Christian peaked at #5 on the Billboard charts.

Oooh, has anyone given a listen to the new Whitesnake CD, Forevermore? The single, “Love Will Set You Free” is simply infectious. As for the new Journey CD, Eclipse? Eh, I can take it or leave it. I mean, I’m really not as big a fan since Steve Perry left a few years ago.

I am still looking forward to the new Van Halen record this fall though. There’s sure been a lot of buzz about it on their Facebook fan page since David Lee Roth came back. I can’t wait to see if Eddie still has those guitar skills. If only this were 1987, it sure would be a great time to be a music fan. For me anyway.

But alas, here we are in the middle of 2011, and although everything I’ve said about those bands above is true (they all have already or will have new studio albums and tours this year) I bet 75% of the fans they had back in their hey day do not even know it.

To them, as to everyone else who are fans of the synthesized robotic voiced artists, the bands they once loved and adored a quarter century ago broke up years ago and the members are now active AARP recipients.

And if you really want to get that old album you wore out on the turntable signed, well you might just find them at a convention signing autographs and taking pictures. The ones former childhood stars and “B” movie actors also attend. The same artists, whom you couldn’t get near when their music ruled the air, will now even have lunch with you (if you’re buying of course).

Truth is, by the way today’s music business works, that’s probably the way it should be. These bands, who once dominated the charts, are still releasing quality product but no one is listening. Sadly, some of the songs on these albums, which would have been sure-fire chart toppers twenty-five years ago, won’t even get airplay.

I already know what you’re thinking: Get over it. Times have changed and so has music. And you may be right. I just might be turning into something I always said my parents were when it came to music, an old fuddy duddy. I really miss seeing my music on store shelves and being talked about.

But I think Mom and Dad would agree with me on something else: a lot of the songs that are popular on radio right now sound exactly the same. Today’s pop/rock music is driven primarily by the same old beat and tired cliché’ lyrics.

Meanwhile, bands like the ones I’ve mentioned are finding no outlet for their new music and are relegated to signing exclusive deals with Walmart or foreign record companies to peddle them while they embark on tours (most times in groups of two or three together) playing their hits just to stay relevant.

One of these record companies, Frontiers Records, seems to have landed the motherload of these now “classic” rock bands. If you look at their artist catalogue, it reads like something you’d see on the program from Live Aid in 1985.

Although I am saddened to no longer see their records on the shelves, it only reinforces the fact that these artists are still in it for the music. There’s really no need for them to try and put out new material that will sell nowhere near what their old records did back in the day.

I’m just glad they continue to do it for fans like me who appreciate everything they’ve accomplished.

Article first published as Is Anyone Listening To “New” Music? on Technorati.

Books, Music, Thought and Opinion

Off The Rails – A Review

It was 1990 and I was in the middle of writing a term paper for my college English class. The theme was biography and I decided to do mine on one of my favorite guitarists of all time, Randy Rhoads, who died in a plane crash in 1982.

Randy was a genius on his instrument. Much like Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix and Eddie Van Halen were in their prime, these gentlemen all took the instrument to an entirely new level. Randy Rhoads’ unfortunate passing took away the opportunity for music lovers to see what would have happened if a gifted guitarist crossed heavy metal with classical music. From the music he left behind the possibilities were endless.

Needless to say, trying to compose a term paper on a heavy metal guitarist was not easy at that time. Especially when there were no books on the subject and no Internet readily available. I was forced to use guitar magazines which, let’s be honest, are not the best material to gain any real insight on the subject.

Most of those magazines are nothing more than hero-worship anyway and are more interested in teaching you how to play guitar solos rather than what kind of person Randy was like. Where was Rudy Sarzo’s book “Off The Rails” when I needed it?

For those of you who don’t know, Rudy Sarzo is a bassist who performed with Randy Rhoads during his heyday with Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy, who had recently parted ways with his long time band Black Sabbath, had just put together a new band to support his solo career and albums Blizzard of Ozzand Diary of a Madman.

In his book, Rudy discusses every detail of his life from the moment he was asked to join Ozzy Osbourne’s band along side Randy, right up until the plane crash that killed one of the greatest guitar players ever on March 19, 1982. The book not only gives you an insight on what it was like to be in the band with Randy, but also some of the most funny, outrageous and at times, depressing stories about life on the road you’ll ever read.

I originally contemplated using the term “Mr. Sarzo” when addressing the author in this review of his book but decided against it. The use of “Mr” is too formal and much better suited for addressing music business executives and for ASCAP royalty statements. After reading this brilliant book and learning so much about him (and Randy for that matter), I’m much more comfortable referring to him simply as “Rudy”.

Those who know me can attest to the fact that I definitely am not a literary connoisseur. Far from it if you really must know, but I took this book with me on vacation to Ocean City, Maryland and could not put it down.

Reading about Rudy’s laid back lifestyle, the wild stories of Ozzy and his beloved wife Sharon (who can now be seen as a judge on the show America’s Got Talent) and how Randy was ready to give it all up to get back to his love of teaching classical guitar was the perfect complement to my own personal ME time. Rudy’s writing style made me feel like I was actually sitting on the tour bus with him bearing witness to all the debauchery myself.

I found myself cursing fate when I discovered that Rudy and Randy had performed within 10 miles of my home but I was a mere eleven years old at the time and wasn’t even aware of the greatness that had come to my town. Oh, why couldn’t my parents have been listening to Blizzard of Ozz instead of ABBA’s Dancing Queen? I could have been one to bear witness to music genius.

Rudy spares no punches at all in this great read. He discusses the stories of drugs and alcohol abuse, how he met the love of his life, posts in-depth reviews from many of the shows during the tour and is even at times very critical of his own playing.

Most rock star books and biographies usually follow the same format: I have nothing, I got famous, I got drunk, I got high, I got into a fight, I got cleaned up. Although some of that is also included in this work, there’s so much more here to set it apart from the pack. The stories of Rudy’s encounters with bands like Motorhead, Def Leppard, Night Ranger and countless other groups well before their initial success makes this a must read for any 80’s music fan.

Rudy has a very casual, humble way of story telling and I could really only find one fault with it. On page two of the book, referring to his initial passing of a chance to audition with Ozzy and then getting another opportunity, Rudy mentions how lightning is not supposed to be able to strike twice. But in my view, lightning has struck at least a half-dozen times for Rudy Sarzo.

You see, in addition to finding his beloved wife and being in one of the greatest arsenals ever put together in heavy metal history, Rudy has also been a part of the following in his career as a bass player:

  • Quiet Riot: Their debut album, Metal Health, became the first American heavy metal record  to reach #1 on the Billboard charts selling millions of copies. On a personal note, when I heard “Cum on Feel the Noize” for the very first time back in 1983, I knew at that very moment I wanted to be a musician and play that song.
  • Whitesnake: Rudy Sarzo joined the rhythm section of this band just as their 1987 album began to take hold. Although Rudy did not play on the record he was part of the band at its highest point including the infamous Jaquar video “Here I Go Again”.
  • Dio: Rudy was able to perform with one of the greatest heavy metal vocalists of all time, Ronnie James Dio. Ironically enough, until Ronnie’s untimely death in 2010, Rudy performed alongside the man who had replaced Ozzy Osbourne in Black Sabbath.
  • Blue Oyster Cult: Rudy is currently part of the band whose hits include “Burnin’ For You”, “Godzilla” and “Don’t Fear The Reaper”.

Ok, I’m through ranting. If you are a fan of Randy Rhoads, Rudy or any of the bands mentioned in this review then this is a book you definitely need to own. I can not say enough good things about it. Kudos to you Rudy for one of the best rock biographies ever.

I only wish you would have written this book 20 years ago. I’m confident that if you had, the “B” I wound up getting on my term paper would have been an “A” instead.

Life, Music, Thought and Opinion

Crazy Musician Syndrome (CMS)

CMSToday I would like to discuss with you a disease that afflicts countless musicians everywhere. One that can strike without warning and one that you may not even know you are carrying.

No, it’s not ebola.

This is a disease that does not discriminate on the basis or race, sex or religion. It was powerful enough to cause the breakup of such bands as The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Guns N Roses and countless local bands from across this great country. Some of the people suffering may even be friends and loved ones you know. People are living in pain and it’s time to put a face to the name.

I’m talking about Crazy Musician Syndrome, or CMS.

The origin of CMS is unknown. Some say the disease began in the jungles of the deep Amazon where natives played make shift drums and wooden flutes. Fights would often ensue amongst tribesman for unknown reasons, resulting in huge losses of life. The modern day version of the disease is just as unforgiving and can strike without warning and at any time.

I’m here to tell you the warning signs for this disease. Please.. Please.. pass this information along to all of your friends who currently play in bands. Tell them to be on guard for an outbreak because as of today, there is no cure.

What is Crazy Musician Syndrome (CMS)?

CMS is a disease which can afflict musicians of any age-level who currently play an instrument in an ensemble. It is mostly prevalent in musicians who are in bands that performs on the local music scene, but has ruined the lives of some of the greatest bands of all time. It is characterized by the sudden and immediate insane actions of one or more of the afflicted person in the band situation. Typically, this occurs completely out of the blue and even when band member relationships are going well.

Signs and symptoms of Crazy Musician Syndrome may be due to things like an insatiable need for power and money, but sometimes it goes much deeper than that. Here are a few examples….

Who wouldn't want to be in a band with this cool dude?
Who wouldn’t want to be in a band with this cool dude?

Wives/Girlfriends:

Probably the biggest culprit of CMS. Most married male musicians will suffer in silence with this issue. It originates with a wife or girlfriend’s disdain for other members of the band or about the music being performed. This results in female’s verbal abuse of CMS sufferer and eventually results in sufferer suddenly quitting the band in order to keep the peace at home. The termination of the band member typically occurs the night before a paying gig.

Example – Subject in band was experiencing symptoms of getting slack from his wife on a constant basis. Wife would tell him things like “I don’t like you being in a band”.

What’s even more puzzling is the fact that wife had met the subject while he was in a band, when she came to one of their shows.  Eventually, with a week to go before a paying show, subject abruptly tells band he is quitting music.

Example #2 – I’ve heard rumors from another band who was on the verge of getting a recording contract. The guy told me the band’s guitar player abruptly left them in the lurch before a showcase, telling the rest of the band the reason was because he had found his soul mate.

 

***Click Here for Rolling Stones List of Ten Messiest Band Breakups.

 

Going To Visit Relative and Not Coming Back:

Without warning, a member of band will inform the rest of group that he/she needs to immediately go visit a relative in a far off location. Even if shows have already been booked the need to leave will be too great for the CMS sufferer to manage. Again, this typically happens on the eve of a paying performance.

Personal Example – I was in a band once that was doing well. We were practicing in the drummer’s basement and getting ready to finally start gigging. One night, I received a call from the drummer who informs me that – in casual conversation, he is going to visit his brother in Texas on Friday. I tell him “Cool, have fun, I’ll give you a call next week about practice.” To which he replies, “No dude, I’m leaving and won’t be back for at least  six months.” Without rhyme or reason, after months of practice and finally getting ready to get paid, we had to come get our equipment out of the basement and go somewhere else. There was no death or other family crisis to warrant his leaving and he admitted as much. He just had to leave and visit his bro in Texas.

Tattoos have nothing to do with CMS. I just thought it would be cool to post this one.
Tattoos have nothing to do with CMS. I just thought it would be cool to post this one.

Disappearing Act:

This is the oddest indicator of the disease. One where the afflicted person will immediately lose communication with the existing world. Phone calls and emails will not be returned and there is no indication of foul play. Even if everyone in the band had been getting along great for months, the afflicted person has suddenly chosen to exit the band and not tell anyone.

Personal example — And this one takes the cake. I was in a band once that needed a PA system. I wound up purchasing the equipment with my own money with the promise that the other guys would pay me for their share. Although I did receive the first payments for their share, suddenly one of the band members disappeared and we could no longer get a hold of him. Endless calls and even driving to his home several times were unsuccessful. He was just no where to be found and we never heard from him again.

There are many other indicators that the disease is present. All of which happen suddenly.  So please tell your friends who are in a band to watch for warning signs. Check karaoke bars for victims and try to get them help.

The future of music may be at stake.

Music, Thought and Opinion

Musician Available

I haven’t been performing live on the music scene for about five years now and am beginning to get the itch to get back into it. I’m pretty versatile when it comes to my music. I’ll play guitar, bass, keyboards. I’ve done modern country, oldies, classic and modern rock and even my own original music. The problem I’m having is trying to find the right situation.

I don’t think I’m asking for much. I just want to get into a band to perform, have fun and get paid for it. I also don’t believe my requirements are anything out of the ordinary. In fact, outside of everyone in the band obviously getting along, for me there are only two things that must exist in any band I would consider joining. So with this in mind, here’s what I’m looking for in a cover band:

Number one:  A band that will do classic to modern rock from 1970’s through today.

Number two and even more highly important: A band that under no circumstances will play Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

I am so sick of big wheels turning that at this point I refuse to even play it. Quite frankly it gets me upset that I even have to tag this blog with the title. And by that I mean I will not perform it. If we’re at a bar and a beautiful drunk woman comes up at the end of the night and requests it, well we call her a cab. I’ve even abruptly ended my tenure in bands before it even began when the song is suggested. Here’s a classic example:

I once auditioned to be in a classic rock band with a bunch of cool guys I knew from school. I lugged all of my equipment into the rehearsal space and slowly but methodically unloaded it from my car and pieced it together.

I configured my amps, my guitars, unwound cables, ran effects pedals out the wazoo. I tuned up my Les Paul, turned the Marshall stack on ten and stood at the ready. Ready for the first song of what was surely to become the next Aerosmith or Def Leppard. And that’s when it happened.

The singer looks at me and says, “Uh, I dunno, wanna start with Sweet Home Alabama?”

Without saying another word I un-did everything I mentioned two paragraphs ago and hastily made a twenty-three skidoo. They never heard from me again.

True Story. Well, maybe.

Anyway, it seems as though finding the right fit for me is proving to be almost impossible. I’ve been searching but so far haven’t been able to find anything.

Quite honestly, the more I scour the “musicians wanted” listings the more and more depressed I become. Please tell me if you see anything of value that looks appealing in the following legitimate listings:

1) I am 20, been playing lead guitar since i was 13. I want to start a band with musicians that have chops, good improv skills and creativity. Age range-17-35. The originals I have at this point revolve around progressive funk and hard rock, think chilli peppers meets STP meets Slash. Please only serious inquiries only. No pay. Band is a serious project but for the music foremost. Email me if you’re interested

Interesting combination. But seriously, no pay?…Dude, you CRAY-ZEE

2) CLUTCH tribute band I’m a drummer looking to start a CLUTCH tribute band. If your interested, and have the chops, then hit me up. Looking for people who love CLUTCH and have their own equipment and NO DRAMA, Otherwise don’t waste my time.

I did not even know who CLUTCH was and had to look them up.  They definitely don’t seem to be the kind of band that would warrant a tribute.

3) Guitar led trio needs drums and bass for Satriani influenced cover band playing mostly instrumental music from others as well like Jeff Beck, Frank Marino and Stevie Ray Vaughn as well as a lot of Satriani material including surfing cd the crystal planet and most of stuff from the live at Anaheim dvd. serious players need only apply.

If you can name one venue that will pay money to have you perform this type of music at then I have a bridge I’d like to sell you.

4) Hey whats up everyone! We’re looking for an experienced rock drummer from ages 17- 25. Check out our facebook page and listen to our music if you might be interested. We just started recently but is number 5 on the phillipsburg Alternative Charts. We just released our first demo and are writing for our first EP. We’re good dudes just enjoying the life of music. So if you’re interested just let us know!

I didn’t even know that the small town of Phillipsburg, NJ had an Alternative Chart. Man, I wish I played drums.

This one was more of a musician’s available listing but it gave me a chuckle anyway:

New Orleans and Classic Jazz, Swing, Dances, Parties, Festivals, Weddings, Funerals, Dixieland Strolling (yes with the whole band)ANY Type of Event We own our own parade floats (we have 2) and we specalize in Parade Performances. Ask about our combined Parade and Concert or Strolling Specials!

Parade floats and funerals? Hmmm, these guys just might be onto something.

This can’t be all that’s out there for me. What do you think? Let’s start a discussion. Otherwise, I’m going to have to sing songs about the Southland again. And I won’t be a happy camper.

Books, Life, Movies and TV, Thought and Opinion

Women and Vampires

Set your dials ladies, or perhaps DVRs is the more appropriate 21st century term but in either case the new season of True Blood has begun on HBO. There’s sure to be plenty of vampires, intrigue, suspense, sex, and violence to keep you on the edge of your seat all season. Facebook status updates from women will light up with just two words as show time arrives: “True Blood”.

Now you might assume that me, being male, would be right there with you watching Sookie, Bill, Sam and all the rest. I mean, who am I to pass up sex and uh, what’s that other stuff? Oh yeah, those blood sucking creatures of the night! Sorry, lost track of thought there for a minute. But truth be told, I am not a fan. I’ve honestly tried watching it and even rented the first few seasons on DVD to see what all the fuss was about but as soon as I fell asleep half way through episode four that was it for me. I just couldn’t get into it.

Perhaps I should put the “Women and True Blood” phenomenon in the same category as a few other things that I just don’t understand about the opposite sex. Like, why is it only HER prerogative to change her mind? Or, why do women like to see NKOTB and BSB dozens of times?  If you’re unsure about what those initials stand for, you’re obviously a dude. But here’s probably the most perplexing question that mankind wants to know the answer to:

What is it about vampires that women find so irresistible?

I’m not even talking about the True Blood series so much. That show doesn’t even come close to the amount of female mayhem created by what’s coming soon to a theatre near you. That’s because in a few months, there will yet another Twilight movie out. I don’t even know what this one is actually called either. New Dawn? Breaking Moon? It doesn’t matter actually, to me they’re all the same. It will be a movie that will no doubt be panned by critics as simply dreadful but will inevitably have women of all ages flocking in droves to see it. Over and over again.

Once again there will be stories at work from those of the female persuasion about how excited they are to be going with a gaggle of their friends for the first showing. How they’ve read and re-read every paragraph from every book. It won’t even matter if they have to go to work the next day (some of them will actually use vacation time). They simply have got to be one of the first ones to see it at midnight. And here’s the part that really drives me crazy. Without even having seen the movie yet, they will have already made plans to see it again with another gaggle a few days later.

Worse still, the familiar question will once again be posed among women: Who’s side are you on – “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob”? and lamenting “Oh, if only Bella could have both the vampire AND the werewolf?”

I’ve wasted many hours trying to see what all the hub bub was about. Even painfully making myself read the first book while on vacation in the Outer Banks of North Carolina a few years ago. Hours of my life I’ll never get back and I still didn’t discover the secret.

Now before you ladies go and say that I shouldn’t even be talking because I’ve probably never liked vampires in the first place, let me just set the record straight. I do have experience when it comes to vampires. The fact is, I’ve been a fan from way back.

First of all, Count Chocula has been my all time favorite cereal since, like forever. I was eating vampire food since I was a kid. And a few months ago, when I found out that Count had gone on hiatus at my grocery store until October well, let’s just say I didn’t come out of my room for weeks.

Still need more proof? Well then consider this: in 1982 I was an avid reader of Dynamite magazine. That children’s magazine devoted two pages every month to a cartoon vampire, Count Morbida, who had puzzles to solve. I was such a huge fan that not only did I start a fan club but also wrote a letter to Dynamite about it that they published. We’re talking thirty years here girls. See for yourself if you don’t believe me:

Dear Count Morbida,

It gives me great pleasure to inform you that we have formed your first fan club. Now we need a poster of you. Check with the Dynamite staff and see if you can send us one.

Jim Wood, Easton, PA

The odd thing is, not too long ago women would cringe at the thought of being attacked by a vampire. Now, they’re lining up in droves just for a chance of receiving a bite from Edward. Maybe I’m a bit jealous but what does a vampire have that the mortal man does not?

Take me for example. Aside from not being able to turn into a bat or having a taste for blood, I have attributes of being a vampire so why couldn’t all this attention be placed on someone like me instead of some fictional character?

First of all, I am fair-skinned, much like the creatures of the night. Secondly, my teeth were quite pointy growing up until I got braces. Or how about this one: Even my middle name is Edward. HELLO?? But I don’t see you ladies lining up at my door fighting each other over whether you’re on my “Team” or not (although if you did, I think I’d prefer it to be called “Team Jimbo”).

What’s even stranger is the fact that this whole vampire craze among women just seemed to pop up overnight. When I was growing up, there was NEVER any interest in vampires from the girls I knew. In fact, it was quite the opposite. When I asked a bunch of girls in the neighborhood to join my Count Morbida Fan Club all I was greeted with was “Jimmy’s Got Cooties…. Jimmy’s Got Cooties” every time they saw me for the next six months.

And in high school, when I asked a girl if she wanted to go see Dracula vs Godzilla with me she suddenly came down with some mysterious ailment. One that made her never able to speak to me again. Sure hope she’s doing ok.

So here we are now in the summer of 2011 and the vampire craze is starting to gear up again. Women will once again be wishing they were a chick with a gap between her teeth or going gaga over some 19-year-old kid with abs.

Hmmmm, could it be the abs combined with high levels of estrogen that causes it? Something more scientific with the “X” chromosome that I don’t understand? I would even stop putting garlic on my pizza and avoid excessive sunlight if it would help find the answer. If any of you ladies can enlighten me on why you like this stuff so much I’d love to hear it.

But until this passes I guess I’m just going to have to get into a box and close the lid because, ultimately there will be no escape.

Life, Thought and Opinion

Jenny McCarthy Is So Overrated

Jenny McCarthy and I have a horrible relationship. Everyone says she’s wonderful and always makes time for her fans. Maybe it’s because I don’t see her much but I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s just so overrated. I’ve religiously made the attempt to be in a good mood and see her every night but she always winds up just pissing me off the next morning and quite frankly, I’m just tired of it. The fact is she and I haven’t gotten along in years and I’m just now finally starting to come to terms with it.

I honestly don’t want to end our relationship because it would be devastating to me. And from what doctors have told me, doing so might even lead to my own death. But she and I really need to come to an understanding soon because I’m at my wits end.

You may be wondering the extent of my relationship with Jenny McCarthy. You see, I like to think of sleep as being female or more specifically, like Jenny McCarthy in a black lacy night gown. I mean let’s be honest here, it’s my sleep we’re talking about and I won’t share my bed with just anyone. The truth is though, in some ways both of them are quite similar. I’ll never have either of them the way I really want.

I’ve tried everything to get a good night’s Jenny and nothing works. Pills, pillows, potions and everything in between. I’ve turned the television off an hour before I lay down my head because someone once told me Jenny doesn’t like it.

I also have a ritual I follow closely every night. I avoid alcohol and caffeine past a certain hour, have clean sheets on the bed, a cool climate-controlled environment, background fan noise to set the mood. I even go to bed at a reasonable hour most nights all to no avail.

The fact of the matter is when it comes to a good nights Jenny, she and I are like the old horny married man wanting sex from his old disgruntled married wife. In other words: I ain’t gettin’ it much.

I think in the last twenty years there have only been a handful of nights where Jenny and I have been together all the way through. I’m not asking to Jenny for twelve hours here. But gee whiz, is a simple seven to eight hour uninterupted nap too much to ask?

I’m not prone to having to wake up to go to the bathroom or being suddenly awoken by a door slam or a barking dog. That’s not the problem. But every night without fail and no matter how tired I am when I go to bed, Jenny just gets up and leaves after two or three hours for no reason at all and I can’t figure out why.

Within a few minutes she comes back to me but the process will continue at least three or four more times until it’s close enough to the time I’m supposed to get up for work. By that time I’ve had enough of her antics and just get out of bed. This nightly experience gives me roughly five to six hours of rest and leaves me tired, grumpy and irritable for most of the day.

I’ve tried everything to make Jenny want me. Spent countless hours at the gym losing weight and getting in shape thinking that would help improve our relationship.

Dealing with all the old man nudity in the locker room is not something that’s high on my priority list. It’s not like I would subject myself to that kind of torture just for the sake of my own health either. I’m really making the effort with her but it’s just not working.

A few months ago a physician suggested that the problem may be due to sleep apnea.  But the thought that some how me wearing a gas mask would make Jenny take notice is laughable. If she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me in my natural body built state now, is there really any chance she’d want me dressed in scuba gear?

If anyone has any other advice on how to improve my relationship with Jenny please let me know. I’ve tried watching reruns of Singled Out,  Scream 3 and even reading her books on Autism looking for a sign. Any hidden message that would help.

I’ve even been contacting her on Twitter but she doesn’t respond. Quite frankly, I’m beginning to get the impression that she thinks I might be crazy.

Some night though I’m going to go into my room, turn out the lights and Jenny and I are going to reconcile. It’s going to be a beautiful moment. I probably won’t be getting out of bed for days. I’m talking Rip Van Winkle type Jenny. It’s going to be that good.

Yeah, I must be dreaming.

 

Life, Thought and Opinion

Glen Campbell
Glen Campbell (April 22, 1936 – August 8, 2017)

I read the news today that singer Glen Campbell announced his final album and tour this summer. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease six months ago and this will be his last hurrah.

Now,  I was never a die hard fan to say the least (although Rhinestone Cowboy was one of the very first songs I ever remember hearing and loved) but after reading the resume of this man’s accomplishments, I’ve come to appreciate his work as both an artist and a person who actually lived out his dream… and then some. We all can only hope to be so lucky.

I’m sure all you Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga and Beyonce fans will laugh me to scorn and go ahead. But let’s see where your ladies are thirty years from now. They won’t have this list to reflect on that’s for sure. No, there will NEVER be another artist in our lifetime that has done what Glen Campbell has.

The following was borrowed from Campbell’s official website. Check this out and see if you agree:

  • A Life of Hits: Glen Campbell has had 81 songs on the charts. That averages out to one for every year of his life plus six before he was born.
  • Forget Kevin Bacon: Within one degree of Glen Campbell you get: Elvis, John Wayne, Sinatra, the Beach Boys, Bobby Darin, Wayne Newton, Leon Russell, Merle Haggard, the Mamas & Papas, Dean Martin, Bobbie Gentry, Steve Martin, Rob Reiner, the Highwaymen, Tanya Tucker, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Steve McQueen, Joe Namath, Alan Jackson, Anne Murray, Mel Tillis, Robert Culp, Olivia Newton-John, Leif Garrett, Paul Westerberg, Billy Corgan, Bob Pollard, Jakob Dylan, Quincy Jones, Phil Spector, Clint Eastwood, Steve Wariner, Chris Isaak, Dick Dale, Nat King Cole, Rick Nelson, the Dillards, Dick Dale, Jeff Bridges, Allen Toussaint, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Rita Coolidge, Brian Setzer and Jimmy Webb. Most people at any point in history would have settled for Elvis and John Wayne
  • Holy Moly: Glen’s a religious person so I won’t blaspheme here, but the Beatles famously claimed (in a quote admittedly taken out of context) to be bigger than Jesus. Um, Glen Campbell outsold the Beatles in 1969.
  • God Only Knows: Glen played guitar on the Beach Boys’ opus Pet Sounds, and when Brian Wilson was in his, let’s say “difficult period,” they invited Glen to join the band. He subbed in for a tour and then went off to make a several dozen of his own hits.
  • A Good Time, All the Time: From 1969 to 1972, Campbell was the charismatic host of the aptly named The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour. Tens of millions people a week watched it, with up to 50 million a week tuning in. (Think about it, today’s biggest non-Super Bowl TV event, is 30 million people watching American Idol finals.)
  • Changing Lanes: Campbell has gotten hits and/or awards in the country, pop and gospel genres. He’s won Grammys, AMAs, CMAs, was up for an Oscar, and did a covers album that included a Green Day song. Crazy!
  • Forget Horatio Alger: Campbell grew up in severe poverty as the 7th son of an Arkansas sharecropper. He came to Hollywood in 1960 with $300 and a lot of hope. He scratched by on a meager publishing deal. Then came the sessions, then came the albums, then came the hits, then came the TV shows, etc., etc., and this was all back when the music industry paid for this stuff. The American Dream, man.
  • Albums For Everyone: Glen Campbell has sold over 45 million albums.
  • Unfinished Big Business: The version of “Gentle On My Mind” that was such a smash? A demo!!! Most demos sound like wet napkins on cardboard. Few reach radio. Fewer still do THAT.
  • On the Map: Born in Arkansas, a regional radio star in New Mexico, a hit session artist in Hollywood, ran a theater in Branson. With plenty of time in Nashville, England and more or less the rest of the world.
  • Saddle Up, Pilgrim: Glen Campbell was featured in the original version of True Grit alongside John Wayne (and recorded an Oscar-nominated song for the movie).
  • Stranger Things Have Happened: The guitar on Sinatra’s “Strangers in the Night?” Glen Campbell. Doobie doobie doo.
  • Hope He Owns A Tux: Campbell’s played the White House four times and two private shows for the UK’s royal family.
  • When Do You Practice?: Glen Campbell is a scratch golfer. Lots of famous guys play golf. Few are that good. Fewer still host the Glen Campbell Los Angeles open.
  • Going Out With a Roar: Glen’s last album, the forthcoming Ghost on The Canvas, features songs from Paul Westerberg, Bob Pollard and Jakob Dylan and appearances by Chris Isaak, Dick Dale, Brian Setzer, Billy Corgan and many more… Crazy (again)!
  • Oh, yeah, that song “Rhinestone Cowboy”? Yeah, that’s Glen Campbell too.
Childhood Memories, Life, Summer, Thought and Opinion

Ten More Things I Think: South Side Edition

Here are ten things (actually places) I think you should know about. Places that I think show you why it was so cool to grow up on South Side Easton.

These are in order of my favorites but please feel free to comment below and add your own or indicate any of your own favorites that I may have missed. (I know one of them being the pretzel factory that for the life of me I regrettably do not remember having patronized).

Sadly, if you were one of the unfortunate souls who didn’t grow up on South Side, please tell me about your favorite places growing up.

10. Lackenor Heights. I know I probably spelled it wrong but that shouldn’t diminish how cool this park was. Huge swing sets, lots of basketball courts and a large field I’d spend many days at playing softball or tackle football.

09. Laundromat. Long before we could afford a thing called a dryer my Mom and Grandmother used to drag the kids here. This was the place to go to dry the wash if inclement weather prohibited the use of hanging it on the clothes line in the yard.

I loved putting dimes in the machine and twisting the knobs or playing video games while the clothes dried. Also a good time to head over to Food Lane and peruse the toy aisle knowing full well that whatever toy I wanted Mom would never buy.

08. St Mary’s Carnival. Held religiously (of course) every summer. The fair consisted of the usual spinning wheel games and bingo. To me, the games of skill paled in comparison to the way the little old ladies made fried dough. The ultimate comfort food for a pre pubescent boy on a hot summer night.

07. Porter Elementary School. I spent the first five years of my schooling here. Still recall the big 1876 numbers that adorned one of the eaves indicating the year it first opened it’s doors. The school was closed in 1979 and torn down shortly there after.  

06. Food Lane. Can’t say enough about this place. This was where my first bowl of Count Chocula came from and will always hold a special place in my heart. Aside from actual food there was a toy aisle as well that I always made a bee line to on every visit.

05. Huck’s: Located right across the street from the Delaware Terrace, a housing development for low income families. Huck not only made a decent cheese steak but he was rumored to have Mob connections. He had a big black German Shepard dog that used to sit outside and watch patrons come and go. I loved his home made fries. Of course, I now wish he would have used a proper fry scoop instead of a make shift one he made out of a liquid bleach bottle.

04. Pino’s Pizza. Located in the same shopping center right next to Food Lane, this is actually the only food establishment still open to this day. So many wonderful memories of slices and companionship here. I don’t care if it is under new ownership. The name remains and the pizza is still killer.

03. Brother Bright’s Soul Food Store. Located two blocks from my house, this was the place to go in the early 80’s as I was bussed to Palmer and the Easton Middle Schools. Brother Bright and his wife were two of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet.

02. Lucy’s Store. A staple of Easton. THE place to visit before and after Porter school days. I used to love going there and getting penny candy.  Mr. Lucy always knew to fill my little brown paper bag with more red fish and purple raspberries than Tootsie rolls. My man knew how to hook a brother up.

Although I’m sure he served his candy to many a generation in his time, I’d give anything to have had the chance to have him fill a bag for my daughter too before he passed.

01. Barney’s Lunch. The sign as you approached said it all. It read “We Serve The Best Steak Sandwiches in Town” and was dead on. Barney’s was the ultimate destination. At night, the red neon light was lit up and you knew if you were a hungry traveler the welcome mat was always opened.

Where else could you get the ultimate cheese steak, a bottle of Pepsi and the chance to rap with Barney himself? Or, if he was busy filling orders, you could always sit at a table or play Space Invaders or Vanguard.

And when Barney was blaring Foreigner Four on the jukebox, man you knew you were in the right place. Nothing compared to tearing into a Barney’s cheese steak while jamming to “Waiting for A Girl Like You” with your buddies.

It was the 80’s and it was wonderful.

Thought and Opinion

My Take On The Tracy Morgan Incident

A few nights ago SNL and Thirty Rock star Tracy Morgan appeared at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville to do a stand up performance. This was a show that patrons had to pay to get in to. Apparently, some weren’t prepared for the remarks that awaited them.

At on point during his routine Mr. Morgan proceeded to go on vicious rant about homosexuality. Even at one point stating he would kill his own son if he came home one day and told him he was gay. To me, it’s definitely pushing the envelope to say you’d murder you own son but I also took into account that this is a comedy show and he can say what ever he wants. A lot of other people didn’t think so and have called for his head.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with what Mr. Morgan said or did. I also have nothing against being gay. And I’ve heard plenty of jokes that put me down for things I am or was. People can say what they want. If Mr. Morgan really feels that way about the gay lifestyle then soon enough he’ll get what’s coming to him. But I can’t call for his execution for what he says in a stand up comedy show.

Thing is, if you don’t like him, don’t watch his show or buy his DVDs. But please don’t stand there and raise holy hell that he apologize for a show in which he created and that people paid money to see.

What people don’t seem to understand is that the envelope is pushed every single day. Comedians, film makers and even musicians for that matter couldn’t survive without pushing it. Most do it all the time and no body bats an eye. But every so often it seems someone needs to be sacrificed to the people with the pitch forks and torches and appease them for the next few years. It’s now Mr. Morgan’s turn.

So why all the hub-bub? Especially since we are such a hypocritical society.

Look no further than your late night television. Remember how saying bad words was taboo? Not any more. Even Mr. Twilight himself Robert Pattison dropped the “F” bomb during the MTV Movie Awards last week. Live television and the censors missed it.  Everyone kind of just of blows that one off.  But tell me, how many eight to sixteen year old Twilight loving girls were watching him talk about what he did to Reese Witherspoon in Water For Elephants?

I think we should call for an apology. He should also do public service announcements on the benefits of safe sex. But most importantly, they should immediately cancel the release of any more Twilight movies. Much to my dismay though, they won’t. Especially the part about cancelling future movies.

We all know how artists like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Ke$ha like to use sex to push the envelope to kids. And how hard core rappers and death metal bands rant about doing drugs and killing everything and anyone. At least for them there’s some element of restriction. The infamous “Parental Advisory” sticker that most parents simply ignore anyway. But what about those places where it’s just one big free for all?

Take a good look at the Kidz Bop website. There are lots of children posting videos of themselves covering Bruno Mars’ single, Grenade. Good song actually, but do you really think it’s appropriate that Kidz Bop would let kids post videos of them singing how they’d “take a bullet straight through my brain”?

Where’s the outrage?

I remember watching an episode of MASH thirty years ago when Hawkeye Pierce called a North Korean torturer a “son of a bitch”. It was the perfect line to say in the context of the show and my mouth dropped when I heard it. I even thought my Dad was going to wash my mouth out with soap just for hearing it. That was pushing the envelope then. It’s way past the female dog stage now.

Now a days, I think a hairy ass, a boob and the word “shit” are all allowable. But not until after 9PM. Or maybe it’s no left boob until after 10PM. Well, you get my point.

Only time will tell if Tracy Morgan can survive this little episode. He’s already apologized for his own comedy show. I’m just not sure if that’s going to be enough.

But if you ask me, I’d much rather see the big wigs from movies, music and television apologize for what they’re doing to our children.

Thought and Opinion

Ten Things I Think

For what it’s worth, here are ten things I think. You may agree or disagree and that’s cool. I’m just glad you gave it a read.

10. Osama Bin Laden is Dead. Almost ten years to the date of the worst terrorist attack we’ve ever known. We should be proud as Americans that he is finally dead. But ineveitably, instead of giving praise to the President, we have some politicians and media whores spinning this with conspiracy. Any way to make President Obama look bad and raise their political clout.

Before you paint me as a bleeding heart liberal or some other nonsense please understand that I’m not taking sides.  The fact is we actually had democrats and republicans unified in saying it was a great thing he was finally brought to justice. It kind of reminded me of the early days after 9/11 when we all rallied around President Bush.

But in this case  it wasn’t a even a day later and we went right back to politics as usual with republicans trying to heap all the praise on Bush and bitching about Obama like nothing ever happened.

Sadly, had this exact same thing happened three years ago when President Bush were still in office the Democrats would have done exactly the same. Both sides rally for their side and vilify the other no matter how good.

My point: Don’t listen to anything any of them say. Democrats, Republicans, Tea Party, whatever. Do your own research and make up your own mind. This goes especially for when you VOTE!

9. I know that if I ever get pulled over for running a stop sign and they found a bag of weed in my car I’d go immediately to the clink for weeks. So I really wanna know why Lindsay Lohan can drag out a simple theft trial forever.

8. Don’t ever tell me there’s no favoritism in the US Justice System. A few weeks ago a judge ruled the NFL lockout is not valid. However; the NFL appealed to a more “Business Friendly” appeals court (everyone in the media even trumpeted this fact about it). Sure enough, a day later the appeals court put the previous decision on hold. What the Fu$K is that all about?

7. And speaking of #8: How come some justice trials can be delayed and delayed for YEARS but the NFL work stoppage issue can be ruled upon almost immediately?

6. Arnold…Arnold…Arnold…I wonder how the bodybuilding magazines will spin this one so he doesn’t look like a piece of shit.

5. I spent a ton of money on just labor to have my kitchen remodeled these past two weeks. I’m looking at the finished product with admiration at all the work I was spared of doing. I figure I get to enjoy it at least four months earlier then if I done the work myself. And it feels SO good!

4. American Idol will crown a winner next week. I’m guessing it’s going to be that dude with the deep voice. The voting block of Idol is all young females so it makes perfect sense. Those girls aren’t going to vote for a girl. But here’s my prediction for the future: None of these people you’ve wasted your time listening to and voting for since January will be doing music in ten years.

3. People made fun of Steven Tyler for being a judge on Idol. Especially the tried and true metal heads. The fact of the matter is he’s a genius who just rebuilt his brand. He’s got a whole new generation of people to peddle his book to and that will surely come see him in concert when Aerosmith gets back together. Brilliant.

2.  I’m supposed to go to Saratoga Springs New York on Tuesday for a three day conference. I’m not looking forward to the four hour drive. But I may get out of it because of #1.

1. We already know all about when American Idol tryouts for 2012 are and the new lineup for the fall television season. Can someone please explain to me why the end of the world is tomorrow but I only found out about it last week? Where are our priorities?